Happy 9 - 9 - '09!!!

I don't really have all that much to say, except I love Nick very much. That love seems to just grow and grow everyday. He's my world.

Love may not make the world go round, but it makes the ride worth while.

Things have been very busy lately, with Nick going to school, working, and all his projects. It makes me really appreciate the time that we have together. :]

Also, I'm very excited for Stephanie. Her baby girl, Melody, is due in less than a month!!! I can't wait to see what she will look like. Stephanie's pregnancy seemed to go by really fast, to me at least heh. I cant wait 'till I get to hold her. It's very exciting. Hopefully I'll be able to hold a baby of my own one of these years haha ;D

Well, until next time!

Love ya all!

<3//: Sara

Life after the miscarriage

So it's been an awfully long time sense I had last written (more than a month). I need to write more... I love writing. Hmmm I think I will take up fiction writing again... Anywho, I didn't mean to wander off the subject like that. Yeah, so it's been a while sense my last blog entry.

A lot has happened sense then, for example, we got a puppy. He's a lovely golden retriever, Nick named him Buddy haha. I love him to death, I have always loved golden retrievers, but now that I own one I love them even more! We actually got him for free with his papers and everything about a month ago. I think sub-consciously we may have decided to keep him because of the miscarriage. Actually Buddy has helped me to heal, by keeping my busy, and by giving me something small and sweet to hold. He'll never replace what we lost, of course, but he still has added to our little family.

Second, Nick and I went on the cruise to Ensenada and Cabo san lucas. It was kind of a late 1 year anniversary celebration and celebration of my grandparents 50th anniversary. It was a blast! We loved it, I highly recommend it to all those who have the chance to go on one!

Third, Nick is back at school as of yesterday. Good old BYU Provo. He's also still working at Thrive as an internet coach, and he has a website that he's working on. (I know, he's an internet geek but he's my internet geek so it's ok.) But we are so excited! He is almost done with school! he will be finished in April, with a degree majoring in Japanese! If his website doesn't take off he'll be able to get a job as a patent translator.

So life is pretty good.

We are ready to try for a baby again. So it's just a matter of the waiting game until we get pregnant again. I look forward to that.

Fourth, We got new callings! We are now primary teachers. I'm going to miss the little kids in the nursery. I don't know if Nick will miss being Sunday school president though haha. We're both very excited to start teaching. I love our ward, and our Bishop, and I love our little Provo Duplex. I'm going to miss it when Nick graduates and we move (most likely outside of Utah.).

Heh, Nick and I ran into his ex-girlfriend's family at Ross the other day. SUPER AWKWARD!!! They are nice people but very "happy valley". I gotta say that I thank his ex for making Nick who he is today, but goodness she was kinda nuts.

Anywho, that's all I can think of to write.

I love you all!!

until next time

<3//:>

Bad News

So the worst has happened. We miscarried the baby... Of course I am sad about it. I wish there was something I could have done to prevent it. The doctor told us it was just one of those random miscarriages that was no ones fault, and there was nothing we could have done. I felt so powerless to save my baby. I had to just wait while my baby was dying inside me, and let nature take it's course. It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Losing the baby was the greatest disappointment in my life. But that was about three weeks ago now. It's odd after a tragedy like that, time just keeps going and almost seems like it wants to leave you behind. Almost like your stuck in that stage of life, while everyone else and everything else doesn't slow down.
Now, things are different I'm doing a world better. It was definitely a growing experience for nick and I. It definitely brought us closer together. I felt very comforted by the spirit that it was the lord's will, and that maybe I will see that baby someday. I'm sure that with our next pregnancy we will definitely not take it for granted. But I WILL also always have a fear of it happening again. Which is actually fairly likely to happen. I have RH - blood and If I become sensitized, which may happen, I will more than likely miscarry many times or give birth to a still born. But again as I did with the last pregnancy I put it in God's hands, he knows what he's doing. I know I will be a mother someday. I think we will try again after a cycle or two. I almost want to get pregnant again now, But I think it will be wiser to wait, it will be better for me physically and mentally I believe.
In less depressing news, Nick and I are going on cruise in less than two weeks! I'm super excited! I love cruises. Nick has never been on one so I'm excited to take him around and see how he likes it. we are going to Ensenada Mexico and it's going to be super fun. Probably super good for both nick's and my mental frame lol.

Until next time,
Sara
Come what may

YAY!

I'M PREGNANT! Now everything has changed! Nick and I found out that we were pregnant June 9th! I took three pregnancy tests and they were all positive, I just could not believe it! I went through all kinds of emotions when I found out, Fear, excitement, worry, then back to excitement lol etc. etc. The next step I had to take was telling Nick, which was a little nerve wracking we weren't going to try until July or August so the pregnancy would come off as kind of a surprise.
First I had Steph come over and we talked for a bit, she was probably just as excited as I was. Then we went to the dollar store and bought a baby bottle then took it home and wrote "daddy's drink" on it, and filled it with water. Then Stephanie went home, and I went to go pick up nick.
I was nervous the whole ride there, I told Nick that I had a surprise for him but he was so not expecting a surprise of this magnitude. So I get there, get out of the car and hand him the bottle. He just stared at it for a good ten seconds lol.
Then he said, "wait, you're not pregnant?"
I said, "yep, I am"
"WOAH!" was his reply, "we have to call some people"
He could'nt stop smiling it was really cute! we are so excited!
But now I'm a little nervous and feel like maybe we shouldn't have told everyone. Because what if I have a miscarriage? I don't want to have to tell everyone about that. But it's all good, because it's in the lord's hands and he knows what he's doing. I just have to do my best and do my part, and have faith that the lord is watching out for us. Just as he has always looked out for us. Whatever happens is the lords will.
I just can't wait! I wonder what I am having most think it's going to be a boy except alyssa who says a girl. and others think twins. lol Nick and I would be happy with either one. We feel so blessed by the opportunity :] Nick will Make a very cute daddy. :] I love him more and more. our first anniversary is this sunday and I'm super pumped we are going to go camping. It's going to be so fun!
until next time!
Sara

Long time no blogging.

So it's been a couple months ... Lots has happened sense I had last written. I turned twenty may thirtieth. It feels kind of strange not being a teenager anymore. But I think I will survive.

Nick is out of school for the summer!!!! Which is awesome! He now has a job at a place called Thrive. Where he is an internet coach. :]

Next thing, Brindy and Dallin got married May 23rd In the draper temple then they had the reception at grandma Tapp's house. She has the most lovely back yard ever! Their wedding turned out really nice. Their wedding cake was really pretty too. Brindy looked like a princess :]

Also WE FOUND OUT WHAT STEPH IS HAVING!!!! and guess what, I was right. shocked? Didn't think so. She is going to have a baby girl. as I suspected. I'm really excited for her. She is excited too, though she wanted one of each I think it's better this way, for sure. I think Jax wanted a boy, but what guy doesn't want a boy first? But yeah, that's pretty exciting news.

I decided a while ago that I am ready to start trying to have a baby. With prayer and following the spirit both Nick and I have decided that, after we get maternity insurance from the benefits of Nick's job, we will start trying. Lately I've been feeling that it is really what I feel is right. I'm not just baby hungry. So most likely in august we will start trying for our first child. Which is really good timing because we have a cruise that we are planning in august for my grandparents 5oth anniversary so it will be like our "babymoon" (our one last hurrah as a couple without a baby) :] But we will keep praying about it, and remember that we will get pregnant according to god's will not ours. Haha it's funny but Nick feels we will have a girl first, and I think a boy. So it's all flip flopped. Because I know that Nick was wanting a boy first, he told me before we were married and I wanted a girl lol. But I guess we will just have to see. I just hope that there will be no complications because of birth control or something like that.

Guess what!

I love Nick... and I got the job at cold stone, I'm excited! and I love nick! they are fairly unrelated but who cares? It's my blogspot!

THE END!

I wanna sunburn just to know that I'm alive...

Yeah that's from one of my new favorite songs its been stuck in my head like crazy!!! It's called "Angels on the moon" by Thriving Ivory. I just love it. At first I thought it was an OK song. But now I am obsessed with it!! Any way, here it is:


I'm in love with that song.

Anyway, IT'S ALMOST VALENTINES DAY!!! I'm pretty excited! Nick wont tell me what we're doing. But I guess I'll see :]

I'm still looking for a job, but I'm calling cold stone back today... probably not the best place to work but its better than nothing I guess... and we are getting a little short on cash ;] so yeah.